Wednesday 17 May 2017

Bowie Ruckus

The ruckus and riots over the images and statues is not merely an Indian phenomenon. I was a victim of this senseless obsessive hero warship at my workplace and still recovering from a trauma of being haunded by the faithful loyals of this photo!
This is bang opposite to my desk and any thinking, working, stressful, happy moments when I lift my gaze from the computer screen, I had to endure the stare of this man right in my face.
Right from the day one , I felt him occupying a place on a office wall was very unprofessional. So no wonder , the other day when the printer next to it went kaput at 7.30 pm ,when utterly tired, hungry and stressed me trying to fix it and this fellow looking down upon me, irritated me so much that I pulled this poster and binned it. Colleague of mine, giggling at my action and asking me to take it easy!
Next day morning in another office amidst the meeting my phone buzzing endlessly. The same colleague warning me not to utter a word when I go back to the office, seems people were going mad at the missing poster. Shrugged the shoulders at the suggestion and continued with task at hand only to realise the anger when I entered the office at the midday.
I was throughly interogated by th
otherwise dainty , gentle and polite business support manager about the missing poster ,she was efficiently assisted by four other admin officers. I gathered from their talk that the poster was with them for 13 years and travelled with them whenever the LA decided to relocate them . I get the sentimental value but also found it irrational , moreover ,I trusted the warning my colleague had issued of possibility of murder if I open my mouth . Being surrounded by women in their 50s , this was the first time I felt the terrific fright...All the tabloid stories of violent menopausal women surfacing in my mind.. I continued to pretend ignorance and questioned who would stole that ugly looking poster? Well, I was told to explain the disappearance of it if not stolen as the officers had seen it when they left the office previous day and I was one of the last ones to leave the building. I did not know that they used to bow in front of this Bowie when leaving the office each day!
The ruckus continued with security officers being called and asking for the CCTV coverage as me and my colleague who had left last on the previous evening denying any knowledge of the poster.
I sat down to log in to the system, trying hard to maintain the equanimity amidst this chaos thinking it will die down soon. However, when the business manager came to me and said I need to inform the chief security officer as this is a serious breach, I had to take her aside and confess as to what had happened. Being trained for years to hide any expressions while enduring in social work department, this dainty lady looked furious and told me not to worry! That sounded like a sweet talk that social workers do when telling parents actually we are taking you to the court ! Looking at her face, I also realised that being a boss helps at times ... People don't swear at you in your face at least in that very moment. The poster was by now wrapped in one of bags that was thrown into commercial waste bins by the cleaners when they cleaned and emptied all bins in the night.
We then had to call the cleaning contractor, get the bin yard open and with the help of two security officers, we reopened each bag from that hip to find this poster . The whole site looking like a bomb disposal exercise, managing health and safety aspects before going into those giant commercial waste bins !
Needless to say the jubilant mood of getting Dave back in its place after half an hour search and the utter humiliation I had to endure for the whole day when the stories of my unsuccessful lies and climbing down the bin were told around me!
Since then he sits there arrogantly , I find his gaze even sharper with the tint of sarcasm and to annoy me the admin officers playing the tunes of Life on Mars when this incident is revisited.

February, 3rd, 2017

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